Overflow

Overflow. That is what the kids and I were at Eater Sunday mass. We got there at our normal time and there were seats available in the church but no one was willing to scoot in. I am sure they looked at me with 5 kids and said no way. But I think my kids are some of the best kids in church and had those people been regular attendees they would have known that. I know that something like this should not put someone in a bad mood on Easter but it did. I was so upset that I almost left church but I knew that it would be a bad example to my kids. But it wasn't just that, it was everything that had happened in the days before Easter Sunday. I'll fill you in. Michael is in the choir so he had practice two nights, then he had to be at church early Thurs and Fri., Sat he did the vigil and Sunday morning he left early for mass. I can normally get our kids dressed and ready to go places on my own but doing it all week alone and then having to get to all of the church events can get really stressful. That is usually enough to make me a little stressed. But there was more, way more. On Thursday, my friend Angie was passing through town and could only meet at 5 in midtown. Well, we had to eat at 4, get to midtown, visit with friends from WV and then get up to church and change and get ready for mass. The kids were great. They really held up well with all of the rushing around. Since we ate at 4 they were starving when mass let out after 9:30. We joined some friends at IHOP. After a long day, my nerves are on edge and I am a little short tempered. But again the kids were being great. During dinner Peter grabbed a cup of hot coffee and it went all over his legs. I jumped up in a panic totally forgetting everything I know. I am yelling to take his pants off and trying to get some ice. Of course I had asked for a cup of ice water and hadn't gotten it. Jeff, the hero of the day, jumped up and found some ice water (it magically appeared in his hands) and started cooling down Peter's legs. I started to breathe again. OK, every mom gets a little hyterical sometimes and I was fitting the mold perfectly. I sat back down and was mostly embarrassed by my behavior. I must have looked like a total freak, I do have 5 kids and should be able to handle these things. I also felt really bad for our paster since it was his coffee and he was holding Peter when it happened. It is the hardest thing to get our pastor to go out with us and now he probably is thinking no way am I every going anywhere with this family again. So, that was the first big day. Now, Friday, Michael had the day and off and we planned to get some things done and relax a little. The day went okay except for some reason I really didn't get a lot done and that stresses me out. We all make it to church but decide to skip going anywhere afterwards and just get home and go to bed. HA! Jake was helping up keep up with Peter b/c he is a maniac and gets into everything. Jake tried to get Peter up onto our bed and dropped him. Kids fall off of beds all of the time so it shouldn't have been to bad. But I picked Peter up and he just screamed and wouldn't open his eyes. I tried running the bath water b/c getting a bath is his favorite thing. I just knew he'd calm down if he heard that. Nope, he didn't even look in the direction of the tub. So, then I tried to nurse him. He would even try, this has never happened. Now, I am really freaking out again. I am remembering just a short time ago when Jake got amnesia. I am totally scared that my baby will never be the same, he'll be forever hurt from this. In the meantime Jake is devastated and sobbing in his room. I am the worst mother in the world. I totally flipped out and didn't even once think about how I should be reacting. Jake's well being was just as important as Peter's and I missed it. Michael says that I am always missing it with Jake and I think he is right. But for me, I am thinking about how I am always telling Jake not to pick him up and he does it all of the time anyway. But that is no excuse. I neglected my child who needed that comfort that would let him know that I loved him and that I knew everything was going to be ok. Michael took over with Jake and made sure he was okay while I kept freaking out about Peter. We ended up getting Peter to calm down and all of the kids to bed around 10:30. We had to wake Peter up every couple of hours and check on him. So, this is night number 2 without sleep and being stressed. Now my body and brain are both tired and stressed and I am loosing all ability to function. Michael leaves for the vigil and I am left to clean up and get things ready for Sunday. I get a few things done and decide that I need sleep so I try to go to bed. I am so tired that I can't sleep. I am up until Michael gets home with is around 1am. I finally go to bed and Aidan wakes up. I get Aidan back into bed. Aidan wakes up again and again. Finally on the third time he wakes Peter up. Michael comes upstairs and takes Aidan to bed. (Mike was downstairs b/c he was upset about how badly the vigil had gone)

Now it is after 3am and we have to be up in 3 hours to get ready for mass. But we didn't even get the three hours, Aidan woke up before 6am. Now I am so tired that I physically feel sick, almost like a hangover but without all of the benifits of drinking and partying. So, now you see why I got so mad about being the overflow on Easter Sunday. I am glad that I did not leave and that I stayed. Not b/c I really got to be a part of the mass but b/c it did give me time to collect myself and realize that I had the power to make the rest of my day be good if I could just ask for a little help. So, during mass I asked God for help and we had a great day. We celebrated with our Atlanta family and I even let my kids have cupcakes for dinner.