Things I miss...and what I love now

I went for a walk today and I thought of the many things that I miss.
I really miss being able to walk out of the door, get into my car and drive. Drive with the windows down, shoes off, music loud, and no where to go. But now when I get in my car (oh yeah, van) alone I see a bunch of empty car seats, lollipop wrappers, toys, burp cloths, diapers (dirty and clean) and I wonder what my babies are doing without me.
I miss having the chance to daydream. Now, when I daydream someone gets lost, fights break out, things get broken and the walls come tumbling down. What I do have now is the chance to listen to my kids daydream, these can be the most entertaining stories especially from Aidan.
I miss being able to grab anything out of my closet and it fit and look like it did when I bought it. What I do love now is that I can be a slob and drop food on my clothes and get to blame it on the kids. Another advantage now is that I get a new wardrobe frequently b/c of how body changes so much with each pregnancy.
I miss being able to actually hear the homily at mass or be able to sing the songs. What I get now is the chance to stare at my beautiful family and wonder why God decided that I deserved to be a mom. I get to stare at my handsome husband and think of how lucky I am to have someone so loving and talented. Mass is the only time where I sit down long enough to have a complete thought. I get to meet other families and make great friends b/c my kids have drawn in people.
I miss playing sports, being competative and having endless amounts of energy. What I have now is the chance to watch my kids play and be the best cheerleader in the stands. I get to watch my kids learn that sometimes when you play your best you still lose. I also get to watch that look of shock and amazement when they make their first basket. I now get to be that embarrasing parent that all kids complain about.
I miss being able to clean my house and have it stay that way for more than 1 hour. What I have now is just pure chaos, but at least I have someone to blame it on. One day I will miss the little finger prints, the tiny shoes, the dolls, tiny cars and all the little papers that my lovely children marked all over "I love mom".
I miss more opportunities than I should. At the end of each day I look back and see how many times I missed the mark. Each night I think about how I missed the chance to be my best that day, how I let myself and family down. Each night I pray that tomorrow I will miss fewer of those opportunities to be my best.
Well, now I have to go b/c I have been missed (they found me and realized I was trying to do something alone).

How about it, mom?

Aidan can be very funny. A few days ago we were all sitting on the couch together. I was feeding Peter and of course all of the kids were touching him while he ate. (ugh!) Aidan leans over and touches my breast and says "how about you give me some of that milk, mom". I had to really try hard not to laugh. I told him, "no, it's Peter's milk you already had some when you were a baby." Aidan replied "I have too many teeth now, when Peter gets a lot of teeth he won't get your milk anymore." Kids don't hold back anything.

Dr. Aidan

Dr. (to me) Welcome back Mrs. Vrazel. He said this b/c we've been to his office 4 times already this year (mostly well visits).
Dr. (to Aidan) So, tell me what is going on. I heard you were feeling sick.
Aidan: I think I have an ear infection.
Dr. Really, you figured this out on your own.
Aidan: My ear made a pop, and it hurts and I keep shaking.
Dr: Let's look in your ears and see if you are right.
Aidan: It's only this (pointing to his left) ear not both.

This is really too funny. I wish Dr Aidan could have told me about his ear on Sat when I could have taken him in and his ear would not have perforated.
Jake: (as we were heading to Lucy's class) Mom, there is something gross coming out of Aidan's ear.
Me: I thought that might happen. His ear drum burst and it is leaking out the infection.
Jake: Gross.

Amnesia..... Really!

When your child comes in crying and dragging a leg you don't think ER. Well, that is where we ended up. Jake came to me crying hard and limping. So, I am thinking that he fell and hurt his leg. Me "Jake, did you fall down?" Jake "Yes, I fell in the hallway". Me "Let me see your leg." Jake "My leg doesn't hurt, my head hurts." Now I am getting a little concerned about why he was dragging his leg if his head hurt. So I start down the list of things to look for with a head injury. Pupils, okay. Say your name, okay. Try walking, okay that's better. So, with all of that out of the way I start trying to find out what happened. Jake just starts crying that he just wants to eat lunch. Reluctantly, I tell him to sit down and eat just crackers. I keep setting up the lunch and he keeps crying. "I want to eat my lunch" Me "Jake, I told you could eat the crackers" "oh" He starts crying again. He could seem to understand that I had told him he could eat. Now I am really scared and so I start asking him "what did you do in Botany?" he can't answer, "what did you do for your book report" he answers "what book report." Now, I am up on my feet and heading to the ER. Our homeschool friends take Noah, Lucy and Aidan and I head to the ER with Jake and Peter. On the way I keep asking Jake questions. Asking him things really made him upset so I put on a movie and asked him to tell me about it. We're getting on the interstate and Jake asks "Why did we leave, where are we going?" I pulled all of my strength together and answered calmly "we're going to meet daddy and the other kids stayed with Nancy." Jake "why are we going to meet dad?" Me, "you bumped you head and I want the dr to just check it out, just like they did with Lucy." Jake starts watching the movie. Two minutes later "mom, why did we leave, where are we going?" I just wanted to cry but I just answered him same way as before. This went on for at least 5 times. He was starting to get scared b/c I think I was starting to show that I was scared. I tried to be strong but I think I was starting to pass on my anxiety b/c Jake started telling me "mom, I know lots and lots of things." Michael met us at the hospital. Jake was really out of it for a while. All of a sudden he just came around and started talking and acting like Jake again. Wow, a flood of relief came over me. It was so great to see that he was okay. The dr ran a bunch of test and a scan of his head. Everything was fine. One question the dr asked Jake was to say his phone number backwards. He did it and the dr said "wow, I don't think I could do that." Jake is fine now and life is back on track. Now Noah and Aidan have flu symptoms. There is always something going on around here.

Going to Heaven

So, most of my writing will probably be about Aidan. He is at that age where he says some really great things.
Yesterday, my mom and two brothers were here visiting. Aidan asked Grand D (my mom) "Are you old?" "You are old, but not that old. You aren't going to die yet or anything."
Today, he is playing the keyboard and singing a song; "all butterflies go to heaven, sing it with the mom." So, I am singing along and then he changes the words "all trucks go to heaven." I am so amazed at how he thinks about heaven. He just knows that it is going to be a great place and thinks that his favorite things will be there when he gets there.

From Stripes to Tail

Wednesday was Aidan's "worst day ever". The piano teacher was here so I asked Aidan to play in his room with his cars while I put away laundry. Well, that was just the meanest thing I could have ever done. "I hate you, you are the meanest mommy ever!" I tried to reason with him and explain that I just wanted him to be upstairs so he wouldn't interrupt piano lessons. Well, talking to him only made it worse. "You are very, very mean." So, Aidan was sent to time out. While in time out he screamed at the top of his lungs, making sure the piano teacher could hear, "I am calling Dad and he is going to call the police and they are going to arrest you!" I say "Good luck, you don't even know how to use a phone." Aidan continued all day with one rant after another. Me, I go to bed that night feeling like dirt. How could I have possibly raised this child who could scream I hate you. Then I think about it and realize that I didn't raise him that way, I passed it on genetically. Oh darn.
Well, today I am a good guy and am loved by Aidan. Actually, I am Ariel who is typing emails underwater listening to Flounder (Aidan) play the keyboard. I really don't need to be underwater though, Peter is keeping my body covered with nice wet drool.
Where are the other kids? Noah was playing Pokemon with Lucy and Jake was finishing his school work. Dinner? Not sure.
Who knows what tomorrow will be, maybe I'll just be mom. Probably not.

Stretched, but not too thin......

This is going to be my attempt at blogging. I know, you are thinking, one more thing. Wow, how will she ever keep this up? She can't even finish a cup of coffee :>